I’ve been friends with Pat for as long as I can remember. The guy is always wearing a suit and carrying around his briefcase, even when he’s just running errands. He has no kids, no wife, no pets; he doesn’t drink or smoke either. In fact, the only thing that might make him seem normal is that he loves to eat at McDonalds every day.
I’m a person who is looking for the best of everything in life. I appreciate the finer things and don’t mind paying for them. But, there’s one thing that always gets me: Pat! He’s been my friend since we were kids and he just never changes. New clothes? New car? No problem. Pat will be wearing his same old shirt with holes in it from when we were ten, driving around in his daddy’s hand-me-down Chevy truck–or maybe even walking to school if he can’t find gas money. You can count on seeing him at the bottom of every list, but you’ll also see him at the top because no matter what happens, he is always happy and positive about life!
I never knew how weird Pat was until I found myself in the middle of a conversation with him. He’s always talking about this one thing or that, and it all sounds so confusing. Sometimes he’ll even say something like “you know what I mean?” when you have absolutely no idea what he means. But he’s always so happy and positive, like everything is going to work out no matter what.
I don’t know how Pat does it—how he has such a good outlook on life–but I’m thankful that he can never change his ways because you just need someone like him in your life every now and then. He may be the weirdest guy around sometimes, but we wouldn’t want it any other way!
He’s a complete weirdo, but he’s my best friend. Pat and I met when we were both in high school and ever since then, it was like we’ve been inseparable. He is always coming up with these ridiculous schemes that are never going to work out, but it doesn’t stop him from trying. Pat has this uncanny ability to find the most inappropriate things to say at any given moment which cracks me up every time. It would be really hard for me to survive without his goofy personality around!
I have had a number of strange roommates in my life, but none like this guy. Pat is the most bizarre person I’ve ever met. He was always trying to get me to do weird stuff or go on these crazy adventures with him. One time he convinced me to try eating an egg and now I can’t eat eggs anymore because it makes me gag uncontrollably every time. If you’re looking for adventure, Pat’s your man!
I’ve been living with Pat for a few weeks now. I’m not sure what it is that made me take him in, but he’s such a weird dude and I just can’t seem to shake the feeling that something bad will happen if I kick him out. He’s always mumbling to himself or talking about some obscure conspiracy theory, and there are days when he won’t get out of bed at all. Sometimes he’ll just stand in front of the refrigerator for hours doing nothing like one of those people you see on TV who have lost their minds because they’re starving themselves to death. Still, Pat is an interesting guy and has some pretty awesome stories from back before my time (whatever that means). If we weren’t so different ages, I think me and Pat would have been great friends.
I don’t know what to do with Pat and, to be honest, he’s starting to scare the crap out of me a little bit. He just got done telling me this really weird story about how there was no such thing as money in ancient Greece or something and then all of a sudden started talking about his girlfriend who died last year–it doesn’t make any sense at all! And when I asked him if he wanted some coffee today before we watched Doctor Who together (because it’s coming on soon), he said “No thanks” like it made perfect sense for him not drink coffee even though that’s literally ALL HE EVER DOES AT HOME because why else would anyone live near.
